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Brad Womack, The Bachelor, proposed to his chosen one, Emily Maynard, by saying that he wanted to “…..to be a father to her daughter, NOT a stepfather”. Really? Here we go again. Okay, so what exactly does that mean? Let me take a stab at it.
A father is a highly responsible person who spends time with their children. A father commits their resources, both financial and emotional. A “REAL” father teaches his children about life and supports their passions. A father puts his children first. I think that this is what Brad Womack wanted to commit to Emily on this week’s show. But, what did he NOT want to commit to?
He did not want to be viewed as a stepfather. I wonder what that means? I think it means the stereotype of an uncaring person who lives in the house with the children, but does not get involved. Brad was also implying that stepfathers do not commit their emotional and financial resources to their stepchildren. He also was saying that stepfathers are not really committed in anyway. The stepchildren are not a priority. The real unsaid implication is that stepfathers are mean and, probably, cruel to their stepchildren.
Just what all of us stepparents need, another stereotype thrown our way and not challenged! How about a reality check, Mr. Womack?
Stepparents are the most loving people on earth. We love unconditionally, despite being told that we are not the “REAL” parent. We commit our time and our money without asking for anything in return. We are often used as scapegoats for the ills suffered by the family divorce. Again, we accept this role graciously. Generally, we are powerless against the forces that run our homes and make the rules. Yet, we smile and carry on. Most of us have tremendous positive influences on our families, yet we say little.
It’s time that we start a new reality show called, The Stepfather. Let the stepfather choose families who vie for his attention. The winner would be lucky to have him.