• A Picture Tells the Whole Story aka What Will It Take to Get my Picture Up on the Wall?

  • So, here’s how it goes.  When you remarry and visit the new extended family, it is totally reasonable to see pictures of your spouse and their ex.  After all, this is a viable piece of family history.

    Then, time goes on.  Year #1, #2, #3, #4, #5….stop….time to visit the extended family again.  Hmmm……yes, the old pictures are still up.  So, you come up with a brilliant idea.  “Let’s take a family photo!”  A few thousand dollars later, you have beautiful family portraits.  The purchase is so expensive because you decide to buy a ton of pictures for all of the relatives.  The direct mail program begins and you happily send all those 8×10 images out to the relatives.  After all, who could resist putting these pictures on their wall or on  their shelves?  We look great!

    Year #6, #7, #8, #9, #10….time to visit those relatives!  Where is my beautiful family portrait?  Answer:  ‘nowhere to be seen’.  No worries, though…that original portrait of the ‘original’ family is still there.  Aging (like me), as we speak.  It begs the question, “How long do I have to stay married to get on these people’s walls?”

    It also begs the question, “what happened to the portrait?”  Here come the hypotheses.  Did they throw it out?  Tear it up?  Is it in another room being used as a dart board?  Did they laugh when they received it?  Were they saying things like: “Hey!  We don’t want that bitch’s face on our walls?”

    Year #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18……still not up.  At least, I didn’t do a mass mailing of the recent family portrait.  (I know that trick…don’t put up the pictures when I am young and wait for the older, more mature ones…..not happening!)