• My Stepmother Wall has a long couch. I'm setting boundaries. If you have ever been told that you do too much for others, this blog is for you.  Do you feel that you can’t say ‘no’ to people?  Are you sorry you said ‘yes’ and then resent it later?  Welcome to the club of people that know what it feels like to be used.  The motto of the club is that being ‘liked’ takes

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    Join us for our 2017 Stepmom Retreats! Stepfamily life is tough. The only thing that is tougher than blending the family is keeping your marriage intact.  Statistics vary from a 50% to 75% divorce rate in a marriage where there are children from a prior relationship.  Anyone who is a member of a stepfamily will attest that they had no idea what they were getting into. Parenting and the

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    Lions! Tigers and Bears! Oh my, It's the Summer Season! Oh, boy!  The school year is ending and for many of us it means that the children's schedules are changing.  We may have the kids for half the summer or camp schedules are starting.  First tip is to remember that every time there is a change, even if it is minor, it will get exaggerated in a divorced family.  Why?  It triggers

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    Resentment is like that chocolate cake that you can't stop eating. When you feel resentful, do you feel disappointed in yourself?  Feel as if you are a bad or selfish person?  If you feel any of these things, know that you are not alone.  Resentment is that feeling you have when you are doing something that you just don’t want to do or that you feel unappreciated doing.  What makes

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    Stepmother Lament: Why Do I Feel This Resentment? Don’t you hate feeling resentment?  Resentment is that feeling of doing things that you just don’t want to do, yet feel obligated to do.  When I feel resentment, I feel as if I am being childish. I feel guilty and I feel bad about me.  Usually feelings of resentment center around thoughts that we have been taught are “bad”.  Maybe,

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    Resist Terrorism Through Compassion When you are at war, you feel alone, isolated and as if no one cares about you. Think about it.  Have you ever argued with someone and found yourself repeating the story over and over again in an effort to get people to be ‘on your side’? This is your effort to not feel alone in the battle.  When a country is at war, the citizens of that country feel

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    Haven't we all said it or thought it.  Here is the rant. That ex is insane! I mean it. Really insane. How can a mother treat her children that way? That ex is so mean to my partner.  She is completely unreasonable.  What the hell, Bitch? The question is whether or not we are being fair.  Let’s think about a few factors that may play into our perceptions. 1.    Our Initial

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    Stepmother Lament: Why Am I Always the Outsider Looking In? “This family makes me feel like an outsider. I do all this work and I am still an outsider. When will I ever feel like I belong?” It’s a common stepmother lament. We cook, clean, run errands, pick up kids, buy them clothes and, yet, we feel like a third wheel. It is just this feeling that we are outside of the core family.

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    Are You a Stepmother Who Blames Everyone Else? Do you find yourself blaming others for your life situation? See if any of these 'stepmother' statements strike a chord with you: “These kids are a nightmare because their mother and father don’t discipline them. It is their fault. Our marriage is a nightmare because the ex tortures us. It is her fault. I cook, clean, transport and pay the

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    Stepmothers Feel Like a Piece of Raw Meat Stepmothers, were you shocked to find that you have been 'left out to dry?" If you have ever felt this way, this blog is for you: “No one seems to care about what I feel.  I planned this beautiful event and the stepkids did not come.  Yet, they went to their mother’s event.  I do all of this work, but no one seems to notice. I’m taken for

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