• Is Your Relationship with the Ex in Retrograde? Astrology, You and the Ex

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    The Stepmother and The Ex in Retrograde

    “Pluto, the planet of karmic patterns, rebirth, restoration, healing and transformation, has now stationed retrograde and will remain retrograde until October 4th, 2020.” ~ Alex Myles

    As the planet, Pluto, moves into retrograde, it is taking our families on a wild ride.  Perhaps, you can already feel it.  More upset?  Deep feelings of isolation?  Jealousy?  Feeling insane?  Besides the pandemic, astrologers say that it is the movement of the planets that are creating these feelings. It is the turning of our emotions and deep, dark feelings. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that Pluto appears to be a member of a step family and is trying to move as far away as possible.

    Astrologers have been predicting the current pandemic for years.  The year 2020 had been sighted as the first year of a multitude of planetary retrogrades.  A retrograde is when a planet appears to be moving in its reverse direction. In reality, the planet does not move in reverse, it just looks that way. This appearance of a directional shift creates a change in earth’s energy.

    In addition to whatever challenges our stepfamilies are facing, this energy shift adds an additional layer of stress.  Maybe some of these changes may sound familiar.

    1. Major transformations that force us to face our deep fears of change
    2. Deep feelings of loneliness or of being misunderstood
    3. Heightened feelings of rejection, jealousies and/or power struggles

    This planetary warnings looks oddly like a description of a stepmother’s everyday life.  Now, this blended family life is being put under a pressure cooker.

    Looking at our step-relationships, the relationship with the ex is often the most heightened.  Understanding what is happening in the universe around us, can give us some insight as to our next steps with the ex.

    1. It’s happening to both of us.
      There is no victim here.  These pulses of change and fear are hitting both moms at the same time.  There is a good chance that if you are feeling deep fears of rejection, abandonment, and loneliness, so are the other parents.  Sit with that notion and say the Buddhist chant, “May you be well, May you be healthy”.  Say it over and over again.
    2. Recognize our instinct to look at the shadow side.
      Let’s face it.  We tend to look at the dark side of the ex.  There is a sweet attraction to the gossip, based on the deep-rooted fear that we may not be good enough.  We desperately want to believe that we are the ‘better’ partner.  Pluto will force these issues into the forefront.  Both parents will be forced to face our power struggles.  We won’t like it.  Pluto forces us to recognize those that have power over us and where our own power starts. The stepmother’s position may appear powerless.  Think about the other partner’s powerless feelings.  They feel as if they lose control every time their child walks into our homes.  Per astrologer, Alex Myles, “We will face our own powerlessness.   We may even discover that we have been limiting ourselves and blocking the blessings coming toward us, simply because we are so afraid of how other people wrongly interpret our energy or take our intentions out of context.” Let’s not lose out on life because we are wrapped around the need for power.
    3. Stepmothers and mothers can use this time as a road to deep commitment to one another.
      As we travel through life together, thoughts about family disasters rarely come to mind. In these times, it is top of mind.  Will we lose a family member?  Will we be able to cope with quarantining and raising children in an enclosed environment?  It is not surprising that people come together during emergencies and can actually become partners in life.  Due to women’s innate need for community, we often view a partnership with a woman as being best friends.  This is another false narrative that we have been taught at an early age.  We can be business partners:  family partners. Due to the Retrograde, we may see the darkest sides of both of us.  Stick with it.  Do not give up.  Transformation takes time.  It is time to speak our truths and work through it.

    As we work through these five months of Retrograde, know that there will be moments of deep discontent from both sides of our families.  As we work through this time, it is our opportunity to rise above and find our true inner selves.  This is our family’s time.  It is created for us.  We can wipe our karmic slate clean and create a new beginning.  ~ Namaste from the Planet Pluto

    Are you interested in hearing more discussions about stepmothers and the ex?  There’s a FREE LIVE panel with the Stepmomz team (THE NEW STEPMOM APP!) on Friday, May 1.  Here’s the link:  https://www.facebook.com/stepmomz/videos/232249301324928/