• The Evil Stepmother Blog

  • Stepmom Confessions: It Is Time to Soften

    Softening..... It is time to soften. We (all women) have forgotten how to soften.  We are pressed with unspeakable demands every day which has encouraged us to act like men.  We have to be tough.  We have to make a living.  We have to do it all.  Let’s face it.  Our society has encouraged this skillset.  Women who have chosen to stay at home are often degraded either openly or secretly in our brains.  I admit as one of those ‘do it all’ moms, that I have equated the idea of softening with weakness.  The one thing that I haven’t wanted to be is weak.  I have been wrong for a very long time. Softening means that you treat your partner with kid gloves.  You use soft words.  You use a soft tone. You are kind.  You listen.  When I first heard the concept, I thought that softening had a feminine ring to it. I wondered if softening meant that I was losing my edge.  Then I realized that I had lost my soft side over the years.  Being a stepmother certainly

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  • Many of you have asked about how the Couples Retreat went.  As you may be aware, Jenna Korf and I held our first Couples Retreat last weekend (June, 2017).  It was an ultimate dream for us.  After all, what would be better than to have a chance to coach both Dad and Stepmom together?  Nothing is better than that! Let me share the gist of the weekend. We taught partnership.  When you truly

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    Stepmothers Often Do All the Work Once, I did a podcast called “I May Not be First on the List, But Can I Get on the List?”  In this podcast, I was highlighting a common feeling among stepmothers.  It feels as if we are just not important.  It is like we are invisible.  In fact, the only time that we become really visible is when work has to be done:  picking kids up, packing lunches,

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    My Stepmother Wall has a long couch. I'm setting boundaries. If you have ever been told that you do too much for others, this blog is for you.  Do you feel that you can’t say ‘no’ to people?  Are you sorry you said ‘yes’ and then resent it later?  Welcome to the club of people that know what it feels like to be used.  The motto of the club is that being ‘liked’ takes

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    Join us for our 2017 Stepmom Retreats! Stepfamily life is tough. The only thing that is tougher than blending the family is keeping your marriage intact.  Statistics vary from a 50% to 75% divorce rate in a marriage where there are children from a prior relationship.  Anyone who is a member of a stepfamily will attest that they had no idea what they were getting into. Parenting and the

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    Would You Compete at The Olympics if You Never Trained? Would you enter an Olympic event without training?  Envision yourself diving into the pool next to Michael Phelps.  Stand next to Simone Biles and, together, perform a floor exercise.  Meet Katie Ledecky at the pool and race her in the 400 metre free style.  Close your eyes and see yourself in any of these scenarios.  Did you win? 

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    Giving a Stepmother a Gift is a Great Idea When I heard that Marni Price had invented a website called Stepmom Gifts, I was surprised.  A store devoted totally to gifts for stepmoms, reminded me of the scotch tape store sketch that was on Saturday Night Live years ago.  (If you don’t remember it, google it or check out Hulu.)  The joke was about a person who opened a scotch tape store in

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    Lions! Tigers and Bears! Oh my, It's the Summer Season! Oh, boy!  The school year is ending and for many of us it means that the children's schedules are changing.  We may have the kids for half the summer or camp schedules are starting.  First tip is to remember that every time there is a change, even if it is minor, it will get exaggerated in a divorced family.  Why?  It triggers

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    Resentment is like that chocolate cake that you can't stop eating. When you feel resentful, do you feel disappointed in yourself?  Feel as if you are a bad or selfish person?  If you feel any of these things, know that you are not alone.  Resentment is that feeling you have when you are doing something that you just don’t want to do or that you feel unappreciated doing.  What makes

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    Stepmother Lament: Why Do I Feel This Resentment? Don’t you hate feeling resentment?  Resentment is that feeling of doing things that you just don’t want to do, yet feel obligated to do.  When I feel resentment, I feel as if I am being childish. I feel guilty and I feel bad about me.  Usually feelings of resentment center around thoughts that we have been taught are “bad”.  Maybe,

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    Resist Terrorism Through Compassion When you are at war, you feel alone, isolated and as if no one cares about you. Think about it.  Have you ever argued with someone and found yourself repeating the story over and over again in an effort to get people to be ‘on your side’? This is your effort to not feel alone in the battle.  When a country is at war, the citizens of that country feel

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