• Jaycee Dugard’s Story is a Miracle. Where is her Step Dad? Every Stepparent’s Fear

  • Jaycee Dugard’s story was recounted on ABC News on the evening of July 10th.  It was a tragic story of how Jaycee was kidnapped while on her way to school, at the age of eleven years old.  She was stolen by a pedophile and his wife who kept her captive for eighteen years.  During these years, she was abused and gave birth to two children.  Found by two policewomen, she was reunited with her mother and is back home.

    As I watched the news show, I had a memory of her stepfather frantically looking for her.  Yet, on the show, there was little or no mention of him.  I googled him and saw that the strain of the kidnapping took a toll on his marriage and Jaycee’s parents were divorced.  In fairness, I don’t know anything about Jaycee’s family.  But, I do know that the story illustrated one of my greatest fears.

    I feared that I would be abandoned by my family.  After all, I wasn’t a “blood relative” and we all know that every fairy tale ever told has ended with the hero leaving the ‘evil’ stepmother behind.  I have often wondered.

    “What will happen to me if the bio parent passes?”

    “Will I ever see my children again?”

    “If I became ill or disabled, would I ever see my children?”

    In the Dugard tragedy, the stepfather was questioned and given a lie detector test.  He was always a suspect in some people’s mind.  Yet, he was adamant about seeing a man and a woman drag Jaycee into an old, gray car.  When Jaycee was saved, the police found her in a home with a man and woman, along with an old, gray car in the yard.  I do not believe that her stepfather was granted permission to see her.

    Clearly, Jaycee’s well-being is everyone’s first concern.  But, behind the core story is a repeat of that widely-accepted myth that the stepparent is just not important.  Beneath the surface is an acceptance of the belief that we don’t love our stepchildren.  It’s a painful perception that most stepparents have to live with everyday.  For the record, we adore all of our children and would fight to the death to save them.

     

    Jaycee, all the best to you and your family.  We are happy you are home.