Remarried? Divorced with Children? Here Come the Step Moms!

Stepmom2012 Coming to Unite Families

I have returned from my first trip to #Blogher11, where over four thousand, mainly female, bloggers joined together to meet, learn and conduct business.  It was fascinating.  As a newbie, your mind is left swirling and you wonder, “Now what?”  I just had to tell you about my most inspiring moment.

For the first time, the conference planners had a breakout meeting for step bloggers.  Step bloggers are step parents who blog about their lives.  Six of us showed up.  I couldn’t help but have the feeling that this meeting was going to be the beginning of change.

Each of us were at different stages of our family’s lives.  One person was about to marry a man with children.  Another is a newlywed with young children.  Another had been married for awhile and had been a full time parent to their stepkids.  Another had teenage children and my children are adults.  All of us started to share our step mom experiences.

Stories abounded about these moms who dedicated their time and resources to their step children.  They were often met with resistance and bitterness.  Many had stories to tell of ex wives who would not allow them to attend their step children’s classrooms or attend a psychologist’s meeting intended to help one of their step children.  I listened as these women told stories of cooking and cleaning for their children. They spent countless hours helping their children resolve their conflicts over their parents’ divorce.  Tears flowed from the moms’ eyes as they worried about their children.

For those step moms who were giving full time care to their children, they worried about their legal rights if anything were to happen to their spouse.  The step mom has no rights.  They knew that they were the lightning rod for their children’s anger.  After all, no child fears losing the love of a step parent, so they lash out at them.  An easy target.  When does the harsh treatment become abuse?  No one ever considers the step mom as a victim.  She is fair game. A major news outlet editor visited our meeting.  I could see how riveted she was as the stories and feelings spilled out.  She was writing furiously as she listened.

These women are true leaders and no different from millions of step moms around the world.  They stay focused on their goals,  that their children lead happy and healthy lives.  They lead without a thought for themselves and they are determined to keep their families together.  They are unsung heroes.  Now is our time.  It is time for the step moms to convene.  We need to share best practices, support one another and relax.  Look for StepMom2012.  More to come!