Stepmom Help: How Can We Make Our Language More Marketable?

Stepmom Words Can Make a Difference

At the end of the day, we are selling something.  Yes.  It’s true.  We are selling ourselves to our families everyday.  It sounds cold, but it is the cold, hard truth, especially during the early years of step parenting.  Our words can carry silent emotions.  How can we make our language more palatable to our families so that they can begin to get to know, like and trust us? Here are 3 words, you may want to avoid during your early step parenting years:

1.  Rules:  The normal, human reaction is to repel the idea of a rule.  Humans hate that and so do your stepchildren.  Don’t we all know that as soon as there is a rule to ‘not’ do something, humans want to do those things.  Consider prohibition.  Maybe, we can think of another word for rules, like ‘blessings’.  We have many blessings in this house and we want to covet them, so we don’t speak to each other in that way.

2. Stepmother:  A kind reader, who is a child of divorced parents, told me that the mere word ‘stepmother’ is offensive to her.  She said it immediately pressured her to put her dad’s wife in the same category as her mom.  I never thought of that and it has made me think.  So, what is the right word for us?  I have no idea.  But, here is a thought.  Maybe, when you are a new stepmom and you are with your stepkids, don’t introduce yourself as their stepmother right away.  Just say nothing and introduce yourself with your name.

3. No:  People do not like to be told ‘no’.  Reserve the privilege of saying ‘no’ to your stepchildren to their parents.  It is a gift reserved for them.  If you need a ‘blessing’ adjustment, communicate to your spouse and let them handle it.

Thinking about your language choice can help your family members adjust.  In some ways, it can make your life easier as well.  It’s all about getting to know one another.