STEPMOMS! HARK! WE HAVE FOUND OUR MUSE: THE TURTLE AND THE SEA SQUIRT

Whew!  I thought I was crazy!  My life as a stepmom has been pretty insane.  Shockingly, at times, I thought I was dysfunctional. Today, my life has changed.

As always, I have found that nature held the answer for me all along. I learned two important facts:

1.  Turtles breathe out of their butts

2.  Sea squirts eat their brains *I love them!

Why is this relevant?  Now that I know that turtles breathe out of their butts, I don’t feel bad for making decisions out of my butt.  You know those parental or step parental moments when you have absolutely no idea what to do.  I always looked to my butt for the answer.  Now, I realize that this was an intelligent move.

Turns out that dragonfly nymphs and sea cucumbers also find their oxygen through their butts.  Per the website, The Straight Dope,  (http://bit.ly/o9SB8V), “Many species have a pair of sacs (bursae) opening off the cloaca (combined digestive and urogenital chamber).”  I have no idea what that means.  All I care about is that the butt is a viable alternative to the brain.  I think I have been a trendsetter.

Turtles breathe out of their butts

I must have been a sea squirt in another lifetime.  There have been times, as a working mom, stepmom and wife that I wanted to eat my brain.  Actually, I felt as if I had eaten my brain.  Now, I know that I am not alone.  If you check out Goodheart’s Extreme Science site (http://bit.ly/rqSngv), the sea squirt “eats its own brain,” such as it is. But since the sea squirt no longer needs its brain to help it swim around or to see, this isn’t a great loss to the creature.”  I was ahead of my time.

I leave you with two important lessons in being a successful stepmom:

1. When in doubt, ask your butt what to do.

2.  After you have asked the kids to clean their room or do the dishes one million time, feel free to eat your brain.

Sea squirts eat their brains!