• The Evil Stepmother Blog

  • Stepmom Confessions: It Is Time to Soften

    Softening..... It is time to soften. We (all women) have forgotten how to soften.  We are pressed with unspeakable demands every day which has encouraged us to act like men.  We have to be tough.  We have to make a living.  We have to do it all.  Let’s face it.  Our society has encouraged this skillset.  Women who have chosen to stay at home are often degraded either openly or secretly in our brains.  I admit as one of those ‘do it all’ moms, that I have equated the idea of softening with weakness.  The one thing that I haven’t wanted to be is weak.  I have been wrong for a very long time. Softening means that you treat your partner with kid gloves.  You use soft words.  You use a soft tone. You are kind.  You listen.  When I first heard the concept, I thought that softening had a feminine ring to it. I wondered if softening meant that I was losing my edge.  Then I realized that I had lost my soft side over the years.  Being a stepmother certainly

    Read more

  • Haven't we all said it or thought it.  Here is the rant. That ex is insane! I mean it. Really insane. How can a mother treat her children that way? That ex is so mean to my partner.  She is completely unreasonable.  What the hell, Bitch? The question is whether or not we are being fair.  Let’s think about a few factors that may play into our perceptions. 1.    Our Initial

    Read more

    Stepmothers: Do You See Through a Positive or Negative Space? Do you recognize yourself? When was the last time you pointed out a negative characteristic of your partner?  Their ex wife?  Their children?  If you do not have to think very hard, this blog may be for you. Nagging.  By definition, nagging is the pointing out of negative qualities to someone.  It is the ultimate downer. 

    Read more

    Stepmother Lament: Why Am I Always the Outsider Looking In? “This family makes me feel like an outsider. I do all this work and I am still an outsider. When will I ever feel like I belong?” It’s a common stepmother lament. We cook, clean, run errands, pick up kids, buy them clothes and, yet, we feel like a third wheel. It is just this feeling that we are outside of the core family.

    Read more

    Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!

    Read more

    Are You a Stepmother Who Blames Everyone Else? Do you find yourself blaming others for your life situation? See if any of these 'stepmother' statements strike a chord with you: “These kids are a nightmare because their mother and father don’t discipline them. It is their fault. Our marriage is a nightmare because the ex tortures us. It is her fault. I cook, clean, transport and pay the

    Read more

    Stepmothers Feel Like a Piece of Raw Meat Stepmothers, were you shocked to find that you have been 'left out to dry?" If you have ever felt this way, this blog is for you: “No one seems to care about what I feel.  I planned this beautiful event and the stepkids did not come.  Yet, they went to their mother’s event.  I do all of this work, but no one seems to notice. I’m taken for

    Read more

    “Tragedy plus time equals comedy.” Lily Tomlin If you have ever wondered: Stepmother Time is Ours to Control. It's Relative! How much more time do I devote to my role as a stepmother? or Will things get better over time? If so, exactly how much time? or Will time heal? How much time do you spend step-mothering? Literally, count the hours. Be sure to count the time spent talking and

    Read more

    Stepfamiles and Life Are All About the Playground It's the end of the year. There have been holidays, custody changes, vacations and aggravations. There have also been feelings of extreme joy. Some of us have received notes of love and appreciation from our stepchildren and/or our partners. Some of us feel peace in the knowing that we are making a home base for our children. For some, we still

    Read more

    Has the Divorce caused a Raw, Exposed Nerve?All Will Heal Did you ever wonder why the ex-wife just can't get over it?  Maybe, you are a stepmother who has been a part of the family for years, yet you still feel as though the ex-wife hates you.  You just don't understand it.  As you know, we study the art and science of stepfamily management here at The Evil Stepmother Speaks.   This blog

    Read more

    Every Stepmother Has That Moment When They Want to Say, "Kiss My Brisket" Do you ever find yourself asking your partner: “What did she/he say?” “No, really, tell me what happened.” “I don’t care what she does.” Next moment. “Tell me what she did.” Do you feel as if you can’t seem to stop yourself? Does it feel as if you are addicted? So, why are we talking and how can we

    Read more

    2 of page 20