Stepmoms Feel Like They Have The Devil On One Shoulder and the Angel On The Other The angel and the devil sits on the shoulders of all stepmoms. You know what I mean. Mother's Day is a perfect example. The angel on my right shoulder says: "I don't want to cause any conflicts. I want the kids to spend time with their mother. This is my main concern." The devil on my left shoulder whispers the following: "I work really hard. After all I have done for those kids, the least they can do is spend some time with me on Mother's Day. I deserve to be recognized!" The conflicted feelings make me just hate Mother's Day. But, then I think, "Hey! Just like everything else about my life as a stepmother, Mother's Day makes me face a core human need: Seen, Heard, Mattered." At the end of the day, isn't that what we all want? We want to know that we mattered. We want to be heard. Since Mother's Day is a day of recognition, it brings those core needs to the
Resist Terrorism Through Compassion When you are at war, you feel alone, isolated and as if no one cares about you. Think about it. Have you ever argued with someone and found yourself repeating the story over and over again in an effort to get people to be ‘on your side’? This is your effort to not feel alone in the battle. When a country is at war, the citizens of that country feel
Haven't we all said it or thought it. Here is the rant. That ex is insane! I mean it. Really insane. How can a mother treat her children that way? That ex is so mean to my partner. She is completely unreasonable. What the hell, Bitch? The question is whether or not we are being fair. Let’s think about a few factors that may play into our perceptions. 1. Our Initial
Stepmothers: Do You See Through a Positive or Negative Space? Do you recognize yourself? When was the last time you pointed out a negative characteristic of your partner? Their ex wife? Their children? If you do not have to think very hard, this blog may be for you. Nagging. By definition, nagging is the pointing out of negative qualities to someone. It is the ultimate downer.
Stepmother Lament: Why Am I Always the Outsider Looking In? “This family makes me feel like an outsider. I do all this work and I am still an outsider. When will I ever feel like I belong?” It’s a common stepmother lament. We cook, clean, run errands, pick up kids, buy them clothes and, yet, we feel like a third wheel. It is just this feeling that we are outside of the core family.
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Are You a Stepmother Who Blames Everyone Else? Do you find yourself blaming others for your life situation? See if any of these 'stepmother' statements strike a chord with you: “These kids are a nightmare because their mother and father don’t discipline them. It is their fault. Our marriage is a nightmare because the ex tortures us. It is her fault. I cook, clean, transport and pay the
Stepmothers Feel Like a Piece of Raw Meat Stepmothers, were you shocked to find that you have been 'left out to dry?" If you have ever felt this way, this blog is for you: “No one seems to care about what I feel. I planned this beautiful event and the stepkids did not come. Yet, they went to their mother’s event. I do all of this work, but no one seems to notice. I’m taken for
“Tragedy plus time equals comedy.” Lily Tomlin If you have ever wondered: Stepmother Time is Ours to Control. It's Relative! How much more time do I devote to my role as a stepmother? or Will things get better over time? If so, exactly how much time? or Will time heal? How much time do you spend step-mothering? Literally, count the hours. Be sure to count the time spent talking and
Stepfamiles and Life Are All About the Playground It's the end of the year. There have been holidays, custody changes, vacations and aggravations. There have also been feelings of extreme joy. Some of us have received notes of love and appreciation from our stepchildren and/or our partners. Some of us feel peace in the knowing that we are making a home base for our children. For some, we still
Has the Divorce caused a Raw, Exposed Nerve?All Will Heal Did you ever wonder why the ex-wife just can't get over it? Maybe, you are a stepmother who has been a part of the family for years, yet you still feel as though the ex-wife hates you. You just don't understand it. As you know, we study the art and science of stepfamily management here at The Evil Stepmother Speaks. This blog