• The Evil Stepmother Blog

  • Stepmom Confessions: It Is Time to Soften

    Softening..... It is time to soften. We (all women) have forgotten how to soften.  We are pressed with unspeakable demands every day which has encouraged us to act like men.  We have to be tough.  We have to make a living.  We have to do it all.  Let’s face it.  Our society has encouraged this skillset.  Women who have chosen to stay at home are often degraded either openly or secretly in our brains.  I admit as one of those ‘do it all’ moms, that I have equated the idea of softening with weakness.  The one thing that I haven’t wanted to be is weak.  I have been wrong for a very long time. Softening means that you treat your partner with kid gloves.  You use soft words.  You use a soft tone. You are kind.  You listen.  When I first heard the concept, I thought that softening had a feminine ring to it. I wondered if softening meant that I was losing my edge.  Then I realized that I had lost my soft side over the years.  Being a stepmother certainly

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  • This is a guest post by Author and Stepmother, Holly Robinson Holly Robinson Always Includes Stepfamilies in Her Novels. There was a moment last spring when I poured a cup of tea, carried it into the dining room to read the newspaper, then froze mid-sip when I noticed the date above the headlines. At that very moment, my husband’s ex-wife was enjoying the first day of her vacation in

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    Who is that Stepmother Woman? It is easy to think of the stepmother as that woman your ex partner married.  If the stepmother is just that woman who is in the house, it lessens the pain of the divorce and the consequences that failed relationship has brought.  After all, the worst part of a divorce is the consequences wrought upon the children.  As the children begin their journey between

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    Stepmothers and MothersAre We Like the Mean Girls in High School?We Should Know Better! Have you ever felt as if your stepfamily life mirrored your high school years?  Girls talking about one another?  Never feeling as if you were good enought?  Pretty enough?  Smart enough?  (Sounds like the SNL character Stuart Smalley) Life in high school was stressful. It was like you were

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      Music Can Change the Stepfamily Brain Music can make all the difference. Music is one of the great mood lifters in our arsenal. Not only can it change our attitude, but it can change the attitudes and moods of our family members. Here’s a life changing tip: Every stepmother should have her earphones in 24/7. Keep your ipod full of upbeat music or music that reminds of us happyy

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    Stepmothers Have a Tremendous Effect on Their Stepchildren via The Pygmalion Effect Is that true? Is there nothing that you can do to affect your stepchildren’s life? If you feel powerless, I want to remind you of The Pygmalion Effect. The Pygmalion Effect is a scientifically proven phenomenon whereby the greater the expectation placed upon people the better they perform. Another way to look

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    Is "No" Where We Draw the Line? One of the most annoying things about being a stepmother is that it brings hard subjects up. Often the thing that we don’t want to do, comes up in stepparenting. You know what I mean. Issues like: Drawing the line on issues like self respect, your role in the family and in life, how you want to live and how much you want to compromise in life and whether or not

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    Fences Can Be Quite BeautifulStepmother Boundaries You have to be willing to take care of you, first. Dr. Maya Angelou said, “I have to be a ninny to ask someone else to take care of me, if I’m not willing to take care of myself.” Yet, isn’t that one of our core frustrations as a stepmother? No one seems willing to take care of us. Defend us. Take a stand for us. Maybe, as Dr. Angelou

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    Anne Taintor's Images Encapsulate the Ultimate Passive Aggressive Behavior. Big Smiles. Their Thoughts are In the Words. We love Anne Taintor! Passive aggressiveness runs rampant in our stepfamilies.  I hypothesize that there is a minimum of one family member who exhibits these behaviors.  Are you one of the passive aggressive family members?  Or, are you living with passive aggressive

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    I saw this image on the new Getty Images for Free site.  As soon as I saw it, I thought 'this is how I feel sometimes'. I, along with my sister stepmoms, feel as if we are on the outside looking in. No matter how hard we knock on the glass, we can't penetrate it.  Then, we feel as if we are swimming around and around and around in circles.  Same issues.  Same behaviors. Same thoughts in our

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    When Will Stepmothers Get Their Justice? When will I get justice?  Have you ever thought about justice?  I know that I have. Does any of this sound familiar? "I do all of this work.  When will someone thank me?" " I am always the one picking up the pieces.  Yet, I never get asked.  It's just assumed I'll watch the kids or cook the meals." "I am everyone's doormat." "IT'S JUST UNFAIR!

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